Can't Stop Falling
by matty98twloha
Summary: Rachel comes back to school a changed person. Will the one person she never saw coming be able to pull her out of the dark hole she falling deeper and deeper into? Slightly AU. Warning deals with self harm.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Rachel comes back to school a changed person. Will the one person she never saw coming be able to pull her out of the dark hole she falling deeper and deeper into? Slightly AU. Warning deals with self harm.**

**Chapter 1: Santana's POV**

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><p>I walk through the doors of McKinley and can feel everyone looking at me as I walk to my locker. Even though I quit cheerios and I'm not at the top of the social food chain, everyone watches me, afraid to see what I might do if someone steps out of line.<p>

As I reach my locker to get anything I might need for my morning classes I hear everyone get back to the conversions or whatever they were doing before I enter the hallway. I grab my books and shut my locker.

When I turn around everything seems to stop again, but as I look at the people standing around me I notice no one is looking at me, but down the hall.

I look where everyone else is looking and see a brunette wearing sweatpants and a loose long-sleeved shirt with her back towards me. In front of her I see Karofsky with a slushie in his hand.

I watch as he says something I can't quite hear and lift the slushie above her head and slowly dump it on the girl in front of him. I see this daily but today is different. No one is laughing, just staring at the girl, who looks somehow smaller then she did less then a minute ago, almost like she is caving in on herself. I can see her shoulders shaking as the blue ice covering her body soaks deeper into her clothing.

Karofsky walks passed her and down the hall, but everything else is still motionless as we wait to see what the brunette will do. She stands there for about another minute before she turns around.

When I see her face I'm shocked at what I see.

Rachel Berry.

Except this girl standing in here in front of me wasn't Rachel Berry. Her face is different then I've ever seen it before. She's crying and looks as if she is about to collapse at any moment. She looks like she hasn't slept in a week because of the black circles under her eyes and looks almost sickly. She looks broken.

I've seen this girl get hit with more slushies then a person should ever get hit with and have heard her get called names no one deserves and I have never seen her cry or look like she's broken, she has always held her head high and never let anything we have done get to her.

As she walks by me she keeps her eyes on the floor scared to look anyone in the eye. I turn and watch her expecting her to go into the bathroom down the hall, but instead she keeps walking and goes out the front of the school. I follow her to the parking lot and see her get into the car still crying. Worried of what she is doing I get in my car, not even caring that school starts in five minutes, and follow her car out of the parking lot.

I have been behind her for a few minutes when she turns down a road and into a driveway that's not her own. I park my car on the side of the road and watch her as she gets out of the car and walks up to front door and pulls out her key to get into the house. I'm surprised she hasn't noticed me yet or if she has she's not showing any signs that she cares.

It takes her a minute to open the door and when she turns around to close the door she looks up at me and her eyes go wide. She stand in shock looking at me and I not sure if I should more or not. Her shock wears off and she slams the door shut.

I sit in my car confused.

Confused by this new, broken Rachel Berry. Confused as to what happened to her to break her. And confused as to why I feel the way I do.

I feel like all the stuff that me and all the other people in McKinley has done to her has finally broke everything that Rachel has to give. I know there is more to it but I feel like a part of it is my fault and I feel horrible to be apart of anything that would break her.

I find myself wanting to help her, to see what's going down inside her and what's really wrong with her.

I turn my car back on and pull away from this house that Rachel just walked into, my mind set on finding some answers to help find a lost Rachel Berry.

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><p><strong>I know this is short but just wanted to get this story started. Please Review.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone that favorited and reviewed this story, it means alot to me. I know the last one was short so this one is a little longer, still not much going on but this is still the beginning of the story. Also there's not a lot of Racel in this chapter but the next one will make up for that.**

**Chapter 2 **

**Santana's POV**

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><p>I make a small detour on my way back to school. I turn down a side road and pull my car into a empty driveway. When I look at the house in front of me it's not the same place that I remember it as. The one time I was here before, at Rachel's party last year when her dads were out of town, the house looked more like a home. But now I look at it and it looks dead like no one has live here in years.<p>

I get out of my car and go to the big window at the front of the house. As I look in I see nothing. Nothing at all. No people, no furniture, no pictures, no proof that a once happy family lived in this home.

I head back to my car more confused that I was before.

Her and her dads must of moved to the house I just followed her to, right?

But why would no one know about her moving, she would of said something about moving, she doesn't shut up about anything. So why didn't Rachel say something. But then again, this isn't the same Rachel.

I start to head back to school. It's almost time for my second period class to start. I guess I'll just have to wait for glee to see Rachel again. That is if she shows up. But glee's the one thing that Rachel has never missed. If she doesn't come then there is something really wrong.

So far since I got back, schools been uneventful. But then again I don't think I would of noticed anything anyways. My thoughts keep going back to one thing. Rachel's eyes. Her eyes have always told me so much about her. They've always been so full of life and hope. But now all I see are her eyes when she looked up at me from the doorway. After her shock wore off I could see emptiness, almost as if she has given up. And it scares me.

I walk in to the lunch room and sit down at my usual table. The table is empty when I get to it and I sigh in relief. I'm not really in the mood to talk to anyone right now. I sit down, put my head in my hands and get lost in my thoughts once again.

I'm so lost in my head that I don't notice Quinn sitting down across from me.

Quinn and I have got a lot closer over the summer. Since Brittany decided that she wanted wheels instead of me, I didn't really have anyone else and neither did Quinn so we decided we could be friends again and be there for each other.

"What's up with you? You look a little stressed." I look up at Quinn. As we were getting closer we have learned when there is something wrong by the way the other is acting. I don't answer right away and I can see she is concerned.

"Nothing I'm fine, just tired." I don't know if I should tell her what's going on. She has never liked Berry, I think she was always jealous of her because she is meant to do bigger and better things outside of this town. But I also know that she knows me to well now and knows that I'm lying. I just she hope doesn't call me out on my lie.

But I'm not that lucky. "Okay now how about you tell me the truth. I know something's going on."

I'm still not sure what I should tell her but I have to tell her something. "Did you see what happened to Berry this morning" I didn't know if anything was going around school yet so I decided I should see if she knew anything.

She looks at me weird. "yeah I was in the hall when it happened, she got slushied it's nothing new." Before I have a chance to talk she continues. "What isn't new though is you following her out of the school and seeing you come back after first period. So Spill, What's going on."

I look down at my hands on the table. "Something not right with her, Q. It was her eyes and the fact that she was crying. She was so broken." I tell her rest of what I saw when I followed Rachel.

Quinn says my name so I look back up to her face. "San, I know your not the girl that everyone in this school thinks you are and that you actually care about people. But do you really think that if something is up with her besides getting slushied and called names, that she will trust you enough to let you help her, because come on, think about it, most of the time we are the ones calling out the names and throwing the slushies."

She's got a point. "I know, and I feel like shit about all of it. You know that I never wanted to do any of that stuff to her. You didn't see her at her door like I did. There's something going on with her and it's not like anyone else is going to help her. I'm going to find out what happened to make her look like she did this morning and then do whatever I can do to earn her trust. I don't know about you but I don't want to be this person anyone, I don't want to hind who I am to make everyone else happy."

"I don't want to be like that anymore either. You know I have your back whenever you need me and I'll help out as much as I can. But I think should keep this to ourselves, if there really is something wrong with her. If people find out they will probably just get in her face and say that she's looking for attention."

"Yeah your right." Q looks at me and smiles. "When have I ever been wrong?"

After lunch I went to the rest of my classes I have before glee. I meet up with Quinn and we walk to glee together talking about how we are going to get to Rachel without her thinking its some kind of prank. We walk in and see that everyone's already there including Rachel who is sitting in the back corner away from everyone else with her hood up.

We take the last two seats in the back row next to Rachel. I look over at her and she is looking down at her lap, acting like no one else is in the room.

A few minutes later Mr. Schuester decides to finally show up and starts writing pointless crap on the white board. "Welcome back everyone, hope you all had a great summer. Now I know it's the first meeting but I'm guessing some of you have something you would like to perform for the rest of us." He turns around to look at us. Of course no one is really paying attention to a thing coming out of his mouth.

I'm surprised when I see Rachel slowly raise her hand out of the corner of my eye. Mr. Schue was looking at her the whole time waiting for her to speak up and say she has something since she always does. "Rachel, the floors all yours." As soon as the words leave his mouth I can hear Kurt groan on the other side of the room and I glare at him.

Rachel seems like she doesn't want to move and be in front of everyone, but gets up anyway. She awkwardly stands in the middle of the room looking at the floor as we all wait for whatever she's about to do.

Mr. Schue tries to more things along. "What song would you like to perform?" Still she doesn't say anything and I'm starting to worry.

When she talks she is so quiet that I can barely hear her. "I'm leaving glee club."

"WHAT?" I yell, which I regret because as soon as the word leaves my mouth I see Rachel flinch. I look around at everyone else in the room and they all look as surprised as I feel.

"Whatever Rachel, We have already played this game with you before, you will be back by the end of the week. Stop being a diva." Kurt Says and Rachel is still looking at the ground but I can tell see she's about to cry.

"Yeah, what's your problem this time? The year just started, you haven't even been denied a solo yet and your already threatening to leave. So what is it you what this time." Says Mercedes.

"I don't want anything and this has nothing to do with glee or any of you for that matter. I hope you can all respect my decision" Rachel says still being really quiet, almost like she would crumble if she talks any louder. She goes to grabs her bag that's sat next to my chair, before she picks it up she looks me in the eye for the first time since this morning. I notice a small tear roll down her face before she grabs her bag off the ground. She turn and walks out of the room and before I know what I'm doing I'm running out of the room after her.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sorry this took so long for me to put this up, between some writers block and my internet failing on me it was hard to put it up. Thanks again for all the reviews and story/author favorites, they are what keeps me going and are very appreciated, keep them coming.**

**I know I said there would be more Rachel in this chapter but it didn't really work out that way in my head when I was writing it so there's still not that much of her yet. This is still kind of a build up of what's to come and I'm going to try and add more and more each chapter of what is happened to her.**

**Chapter 3**

**Santana's POV**

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><p>I run out of the glee room and look down the hall to see Rachel running out of the school. When I walk out after her I see her get in her car and start sobbing. I knock on the window as she looks up at me surprised to see that it was me of all people to have followed her out. I go to open the door to get in but she locks the door before I have I chance.<p>

"Rachel, please let me in." I say loud enough so she can hear me through her car window but not so loud that I frighten her more then I already have today.

"Just leave me alone, Santana." If I couldn't lip read I don't think I would of known what she said through her window, she's still talking the way she was in the choir room and it was hard enough to hear her in there.

She starts her car getting ready to leave. "Please, I just want to talk. I'm not here to beg you to come back to glee." At this point I don't know what to say for her to talk to me.

"I'm done talking, that's all people want to do with me anymore and I'm done." she yells at me. It's the loudest she's been all day and the way she's looking at me scares me of what she might do next.

She takes her car out of park and puts into drive and drives away as fast as she can. I stand there speechless. She was so angry at me. I heard someone walk up behind me so I turn around to see Quinn.

"That went well. Now what are you going to do?"

I don't have any idea of what I should do. "I don't know. What do you think we should do? I don't want her to get even more mad at me but I'm really starting to worry." I'm hoping Q can give me some answers.

"Maybe we should go after her and make sure she gets home alright and if someone's at her house she should be fine, but if not we will make sure she's okay. And then we will just go from there. Okay?" I nod and we head to my car.

We drive up to Rachel's house and see her car by itself so I pull in and park beside it. Right as me and Quinn are about to knock on the front door I hear another car pull into the driveway. I'm surprised when I see who's it is.

"What are you guys doing here?" Tina says to us looking scared of what of we might say or do.

Quinn decides she should talk since I haven't said a word since the parking lot at school. "We followed Rachel here to make sure she is okay."

I don't wait for Tina to say anything back. "Why are you here? Why doesn't anyone know that she lives here now? And why is she acting different and wearing different clothes? I know you know something, what's going on with her? What happened to her over the summer?" I want to keep asking questions but if I keep talking I know that I wont get any answers.

Tina's face went from being somewhat scared to confused to serious in the matter of seconds. "Why do you care all of the sudden, you have never cared before. Just leave her alone she has enough going on she doesn't need you two or anyone else in that school messing around with her head right now." She says being more serious then I've even seen her. To be honest she kind of scares me when she's like this.

She pushes by me and Quinn, who I think is more surprised about what just happened then me, and walks into the house and shuts the door behind her. We decide to leave for now and catch Rachel in school tomorrow because I don't think either Tina or Rachel are going to let us in on what's going on right now.

The next day I wake from my restless sleep earlier then I normally do and can't fall back asleep when the memories form yesterdays events all come back to at once. I take a shower and get ready with time to spare and call Quinn, since we decided last night that I would pick her up and we would ride together, to tell her I would pick up breakfast for us on my way.

We get to school early and eat our breakfast while sitting on the hood of my car watching cars start to pull in their parking spots. I feel Quinn nudge me and as I look up at her she looks past me. I follow her line of sight and see Tina getting out of her car and waiting for Rachel to get out of the passenger side and walking to her side. When they walk past Q and me Rachel's eyes never leave the ground and when I look over to Tina she is glaring at us in a way I've never seen her look at anyone. Eventually she stops looking our way as they walk up to Mike that has been waiting for them at the front of the school. He holds the door open for them to walk out of view.

Before I know it it's lunch. Me and Quinn are sitting at our table when Tina, without Rachel, which is amazing because every chance I had to see her today Tina and sometimes Mike have been glued to her side, comes out of nowhere and sits down with us.

"So what's your deal with Rachel?" she says to me. "I don't know what your talking about." I say back while putting on my usual 'I'm Santana don't mess with me or I'll go all Lima Heights' face.

She looks me in the eye looking even more serious then yesterday. "Yeah, well you see the thing is I don't believe a thing that comes out of your mouth. Every time I was with her today I turned around and saw one of you staring at her. So I'll ask again, what's your big plan to destroy her this time because I don't know if you have noticed but she already broken, there's not much left to destroy." She doesn't even wait for us to say anything as her voice raises in volume. "I really don't know why you guys can't act like mature adults and stop messing in other people lives just because you have nothing better to do in your miserable lives."

Quinn speaks up before Tina has a chance to say anything else. "Whoa, Tina, really we are just worried about her. We aren't planning anything, I swear, we just want to help her." Quinn raises her hands in defense.

Tina shakes her head with a quiet fake laugh. "You guys want to help her?" She asked and we both nod. She stands up and slams her hands on the table in front of her and bends over a little.

"Then leave her the FUCK alone! And stop following her around like you care!" She yells at us and I'm sure that if people weren't paying attention before they are now. She stands back up straight and leaves the lunch room. I look at the glee table that is right next to ours and I can see all of their jaws are resting on the table in front them in shock.

Eventually everything goes back to how it was before Tina grabbed everyone's attention and I turn back to Quinn. "I don't know if it's just me but protective Tina scares the shit out of me." "No I'm pretty sure the whole lunch room wont be messing with her for awhile. I think she has the potential to be the next Santana." She smiles over at me and I can't help but laugh. "Yeah right no one can ever replace me. But then again that seems to be the problem."

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><p><strong>I've read a lot of stories but I've never really seen much of Tina and if I have she is usually in the background and doesn't have any problems with people. So tell me what you guys think about protective Tina or the story so far. And even though I already know where this is going idea's about the story are always welcome as well.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, hope you guy like this chapter I have added a lot more Rachel and a little more of Protective Tina because you all seemed to enjoy seeing a different side to her. The next update should be up by Wednesday night, no promise though.**

**Chapter 4**

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><p>After Tina told me and Quinn off we spent the rest of the week watching both Rachel and Tina from a distance and out of sight to avoid another one of Tina's badass confrontations.<p>

The slushies have slowed down but that was only because Rachel has been staying in the background where no one really notices her anymore. I thought that her not getting slushied or constantly called names would make her look a little less broken but it seems that she is just getting worse. I sometimes don't blame her with how some of the glee kids have been acting around her. Finn has been on her ass most of the week. Of course Tina has been by her side and if she sees that it's to much for her she steps in and takes control.

As for the other members they haven't bothered her as much but every time Rachel passes them in the hall or if they share a class with her they will give her disapproving looks and you can hear them whispering. I can tell she's trying her best to ignore them but I can also see it starting to get to her.

So now its Friday and I still haven't got anywhere. I feel so hopeless. As I'm walking into my first class, that I share with Tina, I see her walking down the hall towards our class, she's late, most likely from dropping Rachel off at her own class. I walk into class and take my seat and Tina sits down at the same table and I'm confused at first until I remember the teacher changed the seating arrangement around last class. I don't look over at her and start doing the book work the teacher gave us to do, not wanting to give her any reason to blow up on me.

I finish my work in about ten minutes and sit there waiting for everyone to finish. When most of us have finished the teacher starts talking at the front of the class. She pauses and looks at my table that is at the back of the class. I feel like I did something wrong for her to stop talking but then I notice her eyes are not on me but the other student sitting at the table.

"Tina." Ms. Clark calls out. I look over at her for the first time since I saw her in the hall to see her down resting on her arms on the table. She doesn't look up and the teacher looks at me to wake her up. I shake her shoulder lightly. "Tina, Wake Up." She jumps awake and looks over to me and I point to the front of the class. "Tina, I know its Friday but can you please refrain from sleeping in my class." Ms. Clark says to her with an attitude. Tina nods and goes back to finishing her work. I didn't notice until now but she looks paler then she normally does and her eyes look tired almost like Rachel's did the first day. Hear face changes to a look of disgust and sickness and before I know it she is out of her seat and out the door.

The teacher looks over to me for answers that I don't have so I shake my head. "Ms. Lopez would you mind going to see if she's okay?"

Looking down the hall I see the bathroom door swing shut. I walk in to hear someone being sick. Guessing its Tina I knock on the only closed stall. "Tina, are you okay." It goes quiet before I hear a click and the door opens reveling a even paler Tina. She walks past me to the sink. "I'm fine Santana, what are you doing in here." I can tell she is lying by the way her eyes don't meet mine in the mirror and she's made a point in doing that every other time we have talked this week.

"Your lying, you look really sick maybe you should go to the nurse." I say concerned. She is about to protest but then she rushes back in to the stall not even bothering to close the door this time and starts heaving but nothing is in her stomach anymore. She looks in pain and I don't know what to do, this has never been my strong area.

I walk over to her and put my hand on her back rubbing soft circles. Eventually she stops and goes back to sink. "Okay, come on." she look to me confused. "I'm walking you to the nurses, lets go." She doesn't move for a moment looking like she's thinking of something to say to convince me she's okay but the she follows me out of the bathroom anyway knowing she's probably not getting out it.

When we get to the nurses I sit there while they talk and find out that she has a stomach bug that has been going around. After Tina makes the nurse promise that she will tell Rachel what's going on, the nurse sends me back to class to grab Tina's stuff and homework for her so she can go home.

I meet Tina at the front of the school by the main door of the school and hand her things to her and she thanks me, she goes to leave but turns back at me last second. "Just because I wont be here, Santana doesn't mean you can bother her. Leave her alone." And with that she leaves. I almost forgot about Rachel until she says that and now all I can think about is that now might be my only opportunity. I just don't know if I should go for it or take Tina's warning.

Its lunch time and neither me or Quinn have seen Rachel all day. I give up the hope I had to maybe having the chance to talk to her, she must of went home after she found out about Tina being sick.

Q and I have been sitting in silence both of us lost our thoughts when I see someone walking to our table. Quinn sees her too and looks to me to see if I see this person walking to us. Rachel stops in front of us and we look up to her standing awkwardly looking anywhere but us.

We patiently wait for her to talk, she says something but I can't hear what so I look to Q to see if she could hear but I could tell she didn't catch it. "I'm sorry, Rachel what was that?" I say calmly.

She looks up at us but at the same time she's still looking away. "Have either of you seen Tina, she didn't meet me like she said she would and she's not answering her phone?" I see that the nurse isn't very good at keeping her promises. "She got sick during first period so I walked to the nurse and she made her go home." She looks back down. "Oh, Why Wouldn't she of told me?" she asked her self more then us.

"She made the nurse promise to tell you because didn't want to get you in trouble for using your phone in class if she called you, but I guess the nurse forgot to tell you. And I bet she's just sleeping and didn't hear her phone." She nods and looks at the lunch room doors back to me and then to the glee table where surprisingly no one has noticed Rachel. "Why don't you sit with us today since Tina's not here. We don't mind." She looks to Quinn and Quinn nods saying that she would like her to sit with us.

Rachel sits down, she looks nervous. I'm about to say something to try and make her a little more comfortable with us but before I can say anything a group of cheerios come to stand around the table.

"It's good to see you man-hands, I was wondering when you were going to join us back in the normal world." Said the new head cheerleader. "Don't call her that, Sarah go mess with someone else. We're not in the mood." Quinn says back.

Sarah doesn't even acknowledge that we are sitting at the table with Rachel and keeps talking to her and making Rachel uncomfortable. "So where's that girlfriend of your gone off to?" Rachel doesn't look up away from the table and I can see that Sarah is not happy with the fact that she wont answer her. "Hey, treasure trail, I know your dads are faggots but I'm sure they taught you enough to pay attention when someone is speaking to you."

That got her attention. Before we even see it coming, Rachel is standing and walking towards Sarah. "You can say whatever you want about me but don't you dare speak about my fathers." I think that everyone is a little surprised that she getting into Sarah's face, especially Sarah.

Sarah's face is starting to turn red at how pissed she is that someone is actually in face right now. She grabs someone's food tray that is right next to her and I watch as she lifts it over Rachel's head and dumps the nasty school lunch food that looks like it has already been ate on her.

I'm out of my seat and rushing to her side and before I know it my fist connects to Sarah's face and she is laying on the ground. The whole room is quiet from shock while Sarah picks her self off the ground. I see the other cheerios slowly moving closer to me and Rachel.

"Your going to regret that, you stupid dyke." Sarah says, holding her hand over her nose where I hit her. Before I can go after her again I hear Q, who I almost forgot was here yelled. "Watch out, San." I look to see what I'm suppose to be looking out for as Sarah pushes me back into Rachel and I feel myself getting hit by cold ice at all angles. Wiping the slushie off my face so it doesn't get into my eyes I look around us to see all the cheerios with slushie cups in their hands and turning around to leave.

I'm about run after Sarah when I hear a sniffle coming form behind me and remember that I wasn't the only one in this situation. I turn to see the damage that was caused. Rachel is cover head to toes in different colored slushie and some kids lunch.

"Let's go get cleaned up." Grabbing her hand I pull her through the lunch room doors towards the bathroom but she stops before we reach it. Turning my head to look at her I see the tears coming out of dead eyes making their way down covered cheeks. I pull her close by the hand I'm still holding on to and rap my arms around her shaking body, not worrying about getting food on me since I'm already covered in slushie.

"Why don't I take you home so you can get cleaned up?" I say trying to get her to calm down a bit but I don't think it's working. "N-no, It's fine, I'll call Tina to come get me. I don't want to get into your car like this." She cries into my shoulder.

"I'm not taking no for an answer." I pull back to look at her trying to show that I'm on here side and that it's okay to trust me. Either she sees I'm not going to let this go or is to tired to argue with me.

Taking her hand in mine once again I lead her out to my car. We both get in and I send a Quick text to Quinn to tell her what's going on and that she will have to find a way home. I start the car and pull away with Rachel in the seat next to me, determined to earn her trust.


End file.
